Think before you speak

When the twins were born; the princess was 4, and jester 1 was 18 months old. So, when I would go out with all 4, people would not hold back on advice, comments or strange looks at me.

Here are a few examples of what people would say:

“Boy, do you have your hands full!”

“Are they ALL yours?”

“I don’t envy you at all.”

“Well, aren’t we populating the world.”

“Wow! I thought I had problems by having just ONE child!”

“Did you do this on purpose? You do know how to prevent this, don’t you?”

And then there are the people who don’t say anything, but, will stare at me and that was followed by a shaking of the head.

But, then there are the people who are nice and will say things like this:

“Twins are a blessing! You are so lucky!”

“Oh! Twins! I’m a twin!”

“My twins are grown now,but, if I can do it, you can do it!”

“My cousin’s neighbor has twin boys to!”

Today, my princess is 9, jester 1 is 6 and the twins, (jesters 2&3) are 4. I still get comments and stares. But, they aren’t as many as they used to be. Nowadays, I get the question, “Are they triplets?” And, “Your poor daughter, having to put up with all those boys!”

But, today, as in earlier today. We went to lunch at Chick-fil-A, of course. I was sitting at a table, and next to us was a man and his teenage daughter. Jester 3 came running out of the play area with his shoes in his hands. He throws them on the floor…

Jester 3: “Mommy! Put my shoes on!”

Man at table: “What a brat! Typical child, being so demanding. That’s alright, he will never produce a beautiful girl like I did.”

After he said that, I took our tray and moved to another table. I was speechless. He continued to say other things,but, I ignored him, plus he was talking with his mouth full,so, I couldn’t really understand him.

 I wanted to punch him in the face.

I wanted to throw my spicy chicken sandwich at him.

I wanted to give him a tongue lashing of words that hardly ever come out of my mouth.

I wanted to transform into mama bear.

I wanted to cry.

While we were eating our lunch he kept staring at me. The creepy kind of stare. And when he and his “beautiful” teenage daughter were leaving, he looked over at me and said, “You’re the stalking type.”

What is that supposed to mean? Am I supposed to fear for my life now?

I really don’t understand how some people can be so rude. I’ve learned to just ignore the rude comments and the stares. I know I’m not alone in this.

I’m not the only mom with:

4 kids

twins

3 active boys

What have people said to you while out with your kids?

 

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11 Comments

Filed under Parenting

11 responses to “Think before you speak

  1. Thanks for this post and for being so honest.
    You are a great mom and you’re kids are great.
    Hopefully you will see this guy again and give him a piece of your mind…you should

  2. Mike Butcher

    Wow, I can’t believe how incredibly rude some people can be! I wonder what this guy’s teenage daughter was thinking about all of this. I’ll repeat what Michael said…you are a great mom and have great kids! I’ll admit you handled this much better than I would have. I don’t think I could have sat by and listened to that. Do you think he would have said anything if Matt had been with you? I doubt it.

    Thanks for sharing this.

  3. Jeffie

    I’m so sorry you had that experience :(. It’s creepy to think people like that are around our town. He was totally inappropriate in his actions, words, & thoughts spoken. Your restraint in not. speaking to him is admirable. You are doing a wonderful job as a parent! Your kids are great! He doesn’t know squat. And his poor daughter having to witness that… I hope the day improves & you are able to enjoy it. *hugs*

  4. jeff atwood

    we’ve had times when Madison has done something “inappropriate” and gotten the stares and comments. To which my usual response to the commenter is “my child is brain injured, what’s your problem?”

    sometimes you just gotta let it fly…

    Don’t let people tell you who they think you are, Jesus already said who you (and your kids) are.

  5. Suz

    Wow. Hopefully the guy was just having a bad day? Seriously, I probably would have stared at him with my mouth open, “I’m sorry, did you mean that? Or is an illness that’s making you so negative?”

  6. Your Friend Mary

    Oh, my! I agree with all those who’ve commented here. You are a great mom! You have four fabulous kids — and God planned it that way!! He was not surprised by any of them and made no mistake in their timing! Having been the recipient of unwanted comments in the past, I’ve decided some people only feel fulfilled when they are making someone else uncomfortable! Any time one of my little red-haired girls might cry for any reason at the grocery store or Target some stranger would announce to me that she was showing her red-haired temper! I had to hold my tongue to keep from letting my red-haired temper loose and asking if blonde babies and brown-haired babies never cry. They are both wonderful adults now and control themselves far better than those rude people did! I’m so proud of my son for having a job at Sam’s Club to help him pay for his “extra” stuff for college. He works his rump off at Sam’s doing whatever they ask — sometimes menial tasks. A few days ago some sefl-important lady asked him, “So, did you always want to be a Sam’s Club greeter when you grew up?” My son held his tongue, as he learned from Mom, but he wanted to ask her if she wanted to be a jerk when she grew up because she was a tremendous success! Yes, it is best to think before you speak. It is useless to think that any word of edification that you might offer to someone of such little common sense and/or courtesy would avail anything other than another attack on you and your parenting skills. You cannot win by making any comment! You don’t need to win, you are already a winner!! You are lovely, loving and loved — and you are teaching your children in the way of love! Keep doing what you’re doing!

  7. Hi there. We’re Twitter friends (I can’t bring myself to say tweeps) & fellow Nashvillians, and I’m visiting your blog for the first time. My daughter is 3 and my twin boys are 1. After a year as a twin mama, I’m still astounded at the things people say. My personal favorite is when they assume I won’t (or shouldn’t) have more kids. That’s why this link my friend sent me recently made my day. Enjoy:)

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